What Stanley Cup?

I have never before in my life paid any attention to professional hockey. I have even less of a vested interest in it than I do in football. But these days it's almost as impossible to avoid it on the local news as it is to avoid the NCAA playoffs in March.

And since drawn-out playoff series occupy the local news for longer periods of time than one-off events like the superbowl, it makes things more interesting to choose sides.

So I choose the Edmonton Oilers -- my brand-new favorite hockey team.

This departs from my root-for-the-home-team dictum, but I have good reasons for favoring Edmonton:

1) No team from any city south of the 49th parallel, much less the MASON-freakin'-DIXON line, has any right to a world class hockey team. At least we occasionally get fun ice storms here in North Carolina (except this year, when we skipped winter), but really, if you live in a place where it never gets cold enough to ice skate outdoors, what are you even doing with a hockey team? Cultures that have not shown their mettle by enduring life-threateningly low temperatures for months at a time don't deserve hockey championships.

2) The Hurricanes is a horrible name for a team. Doesn't anybody remember last season? Last hurricane season, I mean, not last hockey season -- oh, that's right, there wasn't one of those. Last hurricane season was bad. You don't go naming sports teams after bad things (even if they are really powerful). You name them after good things, because you're supposed to root for the good guys. (Wait, someone asks, what's your basketball team? The Blue Devils? Touche.)

I suppose if I'm going to be a good fan, I should find out where Edmonton actually is...

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