I probably shouldn't blog about Christmas gifts, since some of the recipients read this blog. But. The last time I told my parents exactly what I was getting them for Christmas, (1) I confirmed that the item in question was indeed something they wanted and would be happy to receive, (2) I ensured that they would not ruin the surprise by going out and it for themselves, and (3) they both forgot what I had told them, so were genuinely surprised when we exchanged gifts. This is what I can a win-win situation.

So, this year, the conclusion of the matter is: everybody gets food.

No agonizing over options, no fighting the crowds; just a half hour with a catalog, two orders instead of four, and the deal is done. I won't even have to haul stuff across the country in my suitcase.

See, 'cuz it's really all about what's convenient for me, not what's right for them, right?

No, really. My brother and sister-in-law just got married this summer, which means that they just raked in all the loot that they're gonna need for the foreseeable future. On top of that, they're planning to move to Senegal next summer, which means that the last thing they need is more stuff to have to put in storage while they're out of the country. Consumables really is the loving option.

The one drawback to this plan is that my brother, as an elementary school teacher, is inundated annually with Christmas goodies from his students and their parents. Top that off with the fact that, since his inlaws live on the other side of the country/planet, he's hopping a plane to the uttermost ends of the earth as soon as school is out for the holiday break, which leaves precious little time to consume those perishable goodies he just lugged home.

Solution: (1) select food items with a shelf life that will let Mr. & Mrs. E-M consume them at their leisure, not on a deadline. And/Or: (2) schedule gift for delivery after they return home from Christmas with the inlaws.

As for my parents: One of Mom's favorite hobbies is decluttering. This makes her kind of hard to shop for, since most stuff, however exciting and neat, has a way of becoming clutter if you keep accumulating it. Solution, again: consumables, which are genuinely enjoyed, and do not become clutter.

Dad's standard Christmas gift from me (and mine from him) is books. But this year we're both a bit burnt out on books -- him from furiously scrambling to finish writing one, me from decades of gorging myself on reading them. So food is a convenient and welcome distraction.

The only question that remains is, what food? And whence? Ah, something has to remain a surprise, right?