I am not going to get up tomorrow morning, put on a black dress, drive seven hours to Phoenix, stay there for an hour or two, and then turn around and drive seven hours back.


But I seriously thought about it.

My cousins are holding a memorial service for the baby girl they thought they were finally going to get to keep.  They spent most of the pregnancy practically holding their breath, hoping to dodge a miscarriage.  Then they spent the first weeks after a premature birth praying for her to pull through.  Then they got to take home a thriving, growing, happy baby -- who slipped out of consciousness, and then out of life, without explanation, just a couple of days ago.

I have no idea what to say or do -- I guess there really isn't anything to say or do in such a situation.  But I believe in the power of showing up, which is why I spent some time today checking out maps and hotels and crunching drive times.

Showing up isn't going to work out this time.  But I can pray from here.

3 comments:

David and Sarah said...

I'm so sorry. I ill pray for them today.

Emily said...

I'm sorry to hear about your family's loss. Have you been to the blog "Bring the Rain" before? The woman on that site lost a baby in a similar situation, and she has a lot of inspiring reflections about the experience.

Charlie said...

Rachel,
Thanks for thinking of us and we would have loved to have seen you. We're still struggling to understand but each day is easier than the one before.

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