I love the fact that this is a sub-head to an article on The Atlantic. And I find the article itself helpful for those of us who cannot restrain the impulse to obsessively follow the news tonight. I don't think, however, that any guide to watching the results will actually help with the intellectual virtues lauded in the sub-head. So, a quick alternative guide:

RIGHT NOW (If you haven't already):

TURN OFF NOTIFICATIONS ON YOUR PHONE. Unless you are someone's emergency contact, turn off your phone altogether. Close the browser tabs with Twitter, Facebook, and your favorite news outlets. 

5 P.M. (or sooner if you can swing it):

Go for a walk before it gets too dark.

6 P.M.

Cook a good dinner for your loved ones, or just for yourself. Do not turn on the radio or TV.  Eat that dinner.

7 P.M.

Pray. Here's a Compline Service you can pray along with if you like. 

8 P.M.

Watch something fun and completely unrelated to the election on TV, and/or phone a friend who you can count on not to draw you into a spiral of interpreting the results.

9 P.M. 

Repeat 8 p.m.

10 P.M.

IF YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST, check on the news to see how things are unfolding, at a reputable outlet that you trust not to sensationalize things. Remind yourself that things are unlikely to be settled tonight, and refrain from jubilation or despair over the standings. Then, turn the TV/computer/phone OFF.

11 P.M.

GO TO BED.