It's still tomorrow, right?

The good news is that I got almost all of the grading done. There was just one paper that I didn't turn around, and that student can't really complain, since I let him turn it in late to me. I would have finished that one, too, but I discovered when I got to it that my brain had turned to mush. And it's generally not a good idea to try to grade papers with mush for brains.

I still have a huge backlog of e-mail to get through, but I haven't received any death threats from people to whom I owe replies and who are deeply, irreparably wounded that I haven't answer their e-mail yet. The "oh, no, I'm permanently damaging important relationships" fear that drops a guilt-bomb in my gut when I think about my backlog is an example of the irrational thinking I use to drive myself crazy without even being aware of it.

And speaking of negative thinking about relationships, yesterday I called my romance with HWSLANBATTBTOTBAS #2 a "failed relationship." Okay, it's a failed relationship in the sense we haven't managed to retain even a civil acquaintanceship, but the fact that the romantic part of it didn't pan out does not by definition render it a failure. In fact, that relationship was a phenomenal success on multiple fronts. For example, it was a success in giving me positive distraction and support while other relationships that shaped my daily life were disastrously falling to pieces (the pressure that situation exerted probably contributed to the ending of the relationship, but at least for a stressful season it was vital to keeping me alive and sane). Furthermore, it successfully (though painfully, and at excruciatingly different speeds) led us to the mutual conclusion that it wouldn't be a good idea for us to be married to each other. Divorce, mariticide, or making each other miserable for the rest of our lives, those would be examples of a failed romance. Breaking up well before we get to that point? Success!

7 comments:

Sarah said...

Gotta clue me in on the meaning of HWSLANBATTBTOTBAS--I can't even hazard a guess.

CyberianTygre said...

Henry Walter Scott Lance Arnold Ned Brandon Arthur Thomas Tucker Bradley Theodore Orson Timothy Baxter Alexander Steven. The second one she dated. She only goes for guys named Henry Walter Scott Lance Arnold Ned Brandon Arthur Thomas Tucker Bradley Theodore Orson Timothy Baxter Alexander Steven.

Rachel said...

Well, not exactly, but so far I've only gone for guys who have at least one of these names. Brian, did you intentionally weave in the names of all three of the men who have broken my heart, or was it pure luck?

HWSLANBATTBTOTAS is "short" for "He Who Seemed Like A Nice Boy At The Time But Turned Out To Be A Sociopath," my new, cumbersome locution for "ex-boyfriend."

I am determined that my next boyfriend will not be a Sociopath. If any of you see me starting to spend too much time with one, stop me! The problem is that sociopaths, almost by definition, are incredibly charming until you get to know them, so it's hard to identify them ahead of time. But I'm starting to learn how to pick up on some of the warning signs.

CyberianTygre said...

Avoid charming men. At least men who are obviously trying to be charming. I know at least one charming man who is intentionally charming, but I don't think he's a sociopath (he's married with two kids, though). I know charming women who are merely charming because of who they are and I know charming women who are intentionally charming. No, scratch that...I know seductive women who are intentionally seductive.

I was only conscious of one - the latest (but I couldn't think of any other "T" names readily). I can only assume the other two are Yale dude (who I didn't think had a European name) and Smart High School dude (whose name I have forgotten).

I've only had my heart broken once. That was a enough. Three times? Whoosh...that's harsh.

Rachel said...

Well, if they're obviously trying to be charming, that's not so much charming as slimy. That's what makes it difficult.

You assume correctly. I don't remember having actually told you the names of Yale dude and Smart High School dude, so I was amused by the coincidence. That's what I get for coming up with an acronym with so many T's in it.

For the record, you're right that Yale dude didn't have a European given name, but he did have a biblical surname, reflecting the tradition that his ancestors had been evangelized by one of the Twelve. I found it impossibly sexy that his forebearers had been Christians for centuries while mine were still worshipping trees.

Also for the record, Smart High School dude is not a sociopath. Although, come to think of it, one of the incredibly attractive things about him was his confident nonchalance regarding the opinions of others.

As for the three broken hearts, it doesn't take much to break my heart. It starts to get fissures if you look at me funny. But still, ouch.

CyberianTygre said...

Impossibly sexy, eh? I'll keep that in mind in case I meet any nice Armenian boys.

CyberianTygre said...

That's ArmEnian, not ArmInian. Although its probably more likely that I'd meet nice Arminian boys.

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