Wit's End

Pray for me.

I seem to be collecting straws today.

You know, the kind that broke the camel's back.

Little irritations of minimal importance in their own right, but cumulatively...

I've mentioned my computer woes. And the wonderful generosity of a friend that allows me to stay connected in spite of it all. And yet, a borrowed computer is not the same as one's own. There are a multitude of settings that one customizes over time to marginally simplify one's computing life. Each is a matter of seconds' difference, usually. But some of them can eat an hour of your life before you know it.

E.g., just having your data backed up doesn't mean you have access to that data, if your borrowed computer runs different programs than the one you created the file on, and for some reason won't install the appropriate filters.

And then there's my dear printer-scanner-copier, a marvelous device, except that it seems to have gone on a sympathy strike with the dead computer. (Really, I think my machines were inspired by the Writer's Guild of America, and decided to unionize. I had at least six devices on the fritz last week all at the same time. And four of them were within inches of each other. And three of them were actually plugged in to each other. I think it's something viral. But, being machines, and the computer being the only one with anything even resembling intelligence, and it being dead, they've sort of missed the point of unionizing: that is, they neglected to state any DEMANDS before they stopped working. How am I supposed to make them happy if they won't tell me what they want!?!?)

Anyway, the printer still prints, but it doesn't scan, so it doesn't copy. So I need to make an extra stop at the copy shop before sending off my insurance reimbursement form.

And then Amazon and Blue Cross Blue Shield of NC, at least, have recently re-designed their websites, so that things I used to know how to find are now somewhere else. Normally, it should not make even a neurotic person cry to have to take five minutes to figure out where the link has gone for her to suspend her Amazon Marketplace listings while she's out of town.

Today is not normal.

It's exacerbated by the fact that my technical difficulties extend from my prostheses to my body proper. My car was rear-ended on Monday afternoon. It was stressful, but there was no apparent damage to either the car or my body (except for a temporary adrenaline rush), so I was just thankful it wasn't worse than it was. Only my neck starting aching a couple hours later. And about a day later, the achiness had extended to a more general sense of malaise -- sort of like that sensation I sometimes get the day before I wake up with a full blown cold. I really can't tell whether that part has anything to do with whiplash or whether it just happens to coincide with my actually getting a cold (my flatmate has one, so it's a definite possibility). Either way, my energy and patience are compromised by the pervasive discomfort.

Yes, I'm going to see a doctor today. I just need to hold myself together until then.

A lot of things that I had hoped to accomplish this week are not going to happen. I need strength to get through the things that really do have to get done, and the grace and wisdom to let go of the others.

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