Extreme Makeover: Underwear Edition

In case the title hasn't scared you away: my male readers are hereby excused from this post. Proceed at your own risk.

Okay, ladies,

You know those bra-sizing guidelines that you come across in, say, the catalogs of major national department stores, or of major national lingerie chains, or, if you're an evangelical pre-teen like I was, in Focus on the Family's magazine for adolescent girls? The ones that tell you where to measure and what to add or subtract or round up or compare to get your proper band and cup size?

Bullshit.

I'm talking NOT EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE. As in never in a million years would it dawn on me ever to try on the bra in the right size if I went to a department store armed with the information I got from that tape measure.

No freakin' wonder 80% of American women wear the wrong bra size. If the lingerie industry has been promoting such disinformation...

You've probably heard from Oprah and a dozen other sources of conventional wisdom that it's a good idea to get yourself fitted for a bra by someone who knows what they're doing. I'm here to tell you, for once, they're right. Don't try this at home.

And if you're held back by any discomfort over the idea of some stranger looking at or handling your boobies, don't be. The woman who fitted me took a couple of quick measurements on each side of me while I was fully clothed, and was back with a correct-fitting bra for me to try on before I had even noticed she had started. Not only was it modest and professional, it was fast. My poor mother's been nagging me for nigh-on a decade about my posture. Less than five minutes in a real lingerie store, and the problem disappears like that.

I'm still reeling from the discovery. It messes with a woman's sense of personal identity to learn she's been so far wrong about something so foundational.

7 comments:

The Muser (aka Beautiful Mama) said...

Very funny! :)

Athena said...

I got fitted a couple of years ago by a battle axe named Hettie who must be 150 years old. Best bra I ever bought.

Sarah said...

I know. Getting a good bra feels great--instant boob job!

L M said...

I got myself fitted once, in that "victorian" store. Loved it. Loved the bra. Makes a huge difference.

Now I wear the wrong sized bra. And I know it. But I'm too cheap to buy the right sized bra when I know I'll be back to wrong-sized bra size in a year. Alas, though, you may have inspired me.

P.S. Went out with S & E and cyber tiger. Made me remember how much I miss you. I suggested we have you over. C.T. reminded me that it would not only cost us a plane ticket, but we'd probably need to find a way to take care of your responsibilities at home before you'd be able to come. That said, our home is always welcome to you.

toweringajax said...

So...how did the rest of it go? Do you need to buy custom for the rest of your life? (I really wish I could buy custom for everything, and, might start doing so - no new clothes unless custom...except underwear...don't need that).

-CyTy

leslie ruth said...

Girl, I hear you! I did the same thing (at Nordstroms) right before my wedding. Let's just say I had some new motivation...totally inexpensive boob job. I looked easily 10 pounds later. Hmmmm. Maybe it's time to take that field trip again.

David and Sarah said...

Very inspirational. Maybe my mom and I will have a date after the babies are born. Neither of us has ever been fitted!
s

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